Not long now, then.

(Fortunately, it's over three days...)

I am booked to do the Sydney Harbour Bridge Climb on Tuesday and, while not particularly afraid of heights, it is looking like an increasingly stupid thing to have committed to do.

In Brisbane, The Story Bridge is a vast web of metal...



(apparently "The Symbol of Brisbane" said the guide, although I notice the City Council have wisely eschewed this ugly Mecanno in favour of "Picturesque Town Hall and suntopped palm tree"...)

Anyway, in the best traditions of jumping on the bandwagon and fleecing tourists, you can climb this one as well...



Don't those people look small?

And vulnerable...!

Places always look great from high-up.

You get such a wide, expansive view and see the city in its place in the environment, between the bay and the hills. All flaws are ironed out - you can't see the building sites, the cracked pavements or the graffiti.

And it's also really quiet - you're well away from the noise and from the busy business of people's daily lives.

In Brisbane, Mount Coot-Tha is the place to do that. Fifteen minutes by bus and a great place to have lunch with a view.

Against my better judgement, here is a picture of me doing just that...



This is one of very few "This is me in front of..." pictures from the entire holiday. I can't be doing with them in the main. I know I was here, I'm presuming everyone else believes I was, so "This is me in front of..." just spoils the view. ("This one is me in front of the pyramids, this is me in front of the Taj Mahal..." - Yes...!! Now get out of the bloody way...!!!)

When you arrive in a city late in the day, as we did in Brisbane on Sunday, there's not enough time to get your bearings and explore properly and you might be left with a less than flattering opinion of the place. (viz Hereford...)

So I apologise to Brisbane for my earlier comments comparing it to Birmingham (and to Birmingham for using it as a benchmark for badness) and am thankful for the full couple of proper exploring days before leaving for Sydney.

Brisbane is called the River City and so, in addition to the normal ways of exploring which give you the flavour of anywhere new (by walking, by public transport, eating and drinking, from somewhere high up, etc), this city has to be explored by river.

You can do this fairly easily in Brisbane, because the river is an integrated part of the public transport system. The River Cat...



...darts happily up and down the river from very early to very late. The ticket for the sightseeing bus includes unlimited river travel, so we did some unlimited river travel.

And it turns out that Brisbane is actually very nice...

Lots of desireable, and very expensive, waterfront properties...



(This one, it turns out, is not as old as it looks. It was built in 1980 by a member of the Lloyds Insurance family. He spends most of the year away on business so, as the guide told us, the live-in housekeeper and the gardeners have the whole place to themselves for much of the year.)

Brisbane has an industrial history...



(Brisbane Powerhouse: Now an arts centre à la Tate Modern)



(Now swanky apartments)

And it has old Coloninial buildings a-plenty...



...nestled in between the very new, very high and, apparently, very secure office blocks...

(Thanks to Peter, who has helpfully commented on some of my Brisbane photos to tell me what they are...!)

In the words of Madonna and Justin Timberlake "We only got four minutes to save the world... (Wikki Wikki Wikki)"

In the words of the Queensland Hotels Association, "You only got four minutes to take a shower..."



This is because...



I always like to read the papers when I am on holiday (national and local; and try to get The Guardian when I can - Nancy Banks-Smith withdrawal symptoms...) In The Australian, the debate about the water shortages continue.

Victoria, New South Wales and Queensland all share what's called the Murray-Darling basin - the two main rivers which provide water to the major east coast cities. Victoria and NSW have introduced stringent irrigation regimes to prevent the water being wasted, while Queensland has not. This is pissing Victoria and NSW off as they suffer for Queensland's decision. This means there is mounting (water) pressure for control of supplies to be taken under federal control.

In the meantime, huge billboards in cities and along the roads remind you about the state of the supplies and give you advice about how to conserve water. All the water features in cities bubble and gurgle and fountain without worries, but proudly display signs telling you they operate on reclaimed water.

Anyway, that would be fine, but there is a compulsion in hotels to use all the mini shampoo and conditioner and shower gel goodies that you've paid for, which takes way longer than four minutes..!

When we were all in New Zealand, we travelled round in a hire car and, although most of the accommodation was sorted in advance, on a few occasions we just arrived in a town and asked the people at the information centre where was good to stay. It all worked out well and most times, we ended up with high-end, luxury apartments for peanuts as it was winter and they weren't going to get filled otherwise.

While this was all very fine and wonderful, it's the closest I'm likely to come to an adventure holiday. I like to have it all organised in advance. I like to know where I am going when, how, when I am likely to get there, all in the knowledge that there will be walls and a roof (to keep the birds out), a comfortable bed and something to make some coffee with when I get there. I like to have pieces of paper to consult, phone numbers to phone.

Every last day of this holiday has its travel and accommodation documented in this way and I had expected the problem to be with JetStar out of Melbourne on the way to Brisbane. JetStar is FlyBe. It's the budget wing of QANTAS. This is worrying on several counts:

1. Last time I flew on anything similar, EasyJet stranded me in Berlin Airport for nine hours with no chair and a voucher for Bratwurst.

2. JetStar fly from Avalon airport which, continuing the Arthurian theme, is about as difficult to find as The Holy Grail. When you get there, it's like the "Let's Play Airports" Airport. For example, it has one security scanner for all passengers, which looks like someone made it out of a DIY electronics kit you get free with a magazine. "AUSTRALIAN BUDGET AIRPORT MAGAZINE: Week by week, each part gives you all the basic services and facilities you'll need for your OWN international travel gateway. 96 parts with a FREE BINDER which you won't use. First part $1.99. Subsequent parts $9.99. Next week - REAL Duty Free shop with Baileys miniatures, travel socket adaptors and a kangaroo keyring..."

3. QANTAS seem to be having difficulty keeping their full-priced wings attached to their planes, never mind the budget ones....

As it happened, that bit all went off without a hitch and so it was that the first travel problem turned out to be waiting in Harvey Bay for Dave-O and his Bus of Danger and Intolerence back to Brisbane.

Well, he didn't turn up and four of us were left sitting on our suitcases.

The Kingfisher woman explained that they didn't use that firm anymore. There had been some complaints, and what Dave-O had said about them going out of business was true, although not because the boss was terminally ill. Because the boss had been pulled over by the police and the whole firm was in some kind of financial, organisational and, possibly, criminal mess. Our journey up to Hervey Bay had been their last.

How were we supposed to get back to Brisbane, we asked. Admittedly, my suitcase had wheels and made a good emergency seat but, when I gave it a cursory once-over while packing it earlier that morning, no engine.

"No worries," said desk-woman and she sauntered off in search of an email about just this matter which she seemed to remember seeing. She returned clutching Greyhound tickets for the luxury coach leaving Hervey Bay coach station, fifteen minutes drive away, in ten minutes. Pointing out the glaringly obvious problem this posed led to our suitcases being quickly loaded onto a bright Kingfisher-blue tourist shuttle bus and a driver as mad as Dave-O, but safer, hurtling us towards the town centre, tuning his short wave radio into the frequency used by the STOP-GO lollipop turners at the roadworks, while desk-woman got on the phone to Greyhound to ask them to hold the bus.

Did we make it?



Of course! Like I would be relating this in such an easy-going, light-hearted manner if we hadn't...

The coach was only half full, and bliss compared with the theme-park ride which had been the journey north. We pulled into Brisbane right on time...

If you are undertaking a long journey such as this one, north of Brisbane on the Bruce Highway, quite a large number of kilometres along roads with those "This is a High Incident Area" signs up the sides, I suggest strongly that you don't do it driven by "Dave-O" of Suntours.

"Dave-O" is the only driver on the road who is any good at driving. Certainly no-one female or Aboriginal is better than he is and he demonstrates as much by pretending to shoot them with gun-fingers if they overtake him or sometimes even if they are just travelling in the same direction as him.

"Dave-O" is unhappy because he might be out of a job. Apparently, the boss of the firm is terminally ill and needs to spend time with her family. Thus all the drivers are being made redundant. He is hopeful that he might get a driving job somewhere else, but if he doesn't I imagine he could find a niche in the more heavy-handed, under-the-radar branches of the private security/protection racket industry.

Travelling about 3 metres behind the traffic in front at 120kph, he delivered us safely, but slightly shaken, to Hervey (pronounced "Harvey") Bay marina for the catamaran to Fraser Island.

More about Fraser Island tomorrow, and more about "Dave-O" the day after...

We have obviously not found the picturesque and touristy parts of Brisbane yet.

This is forgiveable because it's a very brief stopover of just a few hours - overnight, in fact - before it's the foray futher north to Fraser Island. We're back here on Thursday for a proper look around and it might all look a bit more rosy then.

Highlights so far appear to be the Riverside Expressway...



...which despite being new and looking relatively clean, is still a six-lane urban motorway cutting pedestrian access to the river bank.

The tower blocks...



...which seem not to have any architectural merit.

And the groovy hip'n'happening Southbank, which is where we are staying...



...all fountains and paving and cafe terraces. Lots of people jogging and cycling. You know the thing.

Sign shows you that you either have to be in a car, or a member of the Bangles, to use this bit. Think about it.

Sunset over the western skies as we say Goodbye to Nessie (flying back to NZ...) and to Melbourne (staying where it is...)



The star you can make out is a bit of the Southern Cross. Don't ask me which bit. Look it up.

Next Stop - Brisbane.